Traditions are the glue that bind us to the special people in our lives. Many traditions center around holidays, but for some, there are other times to hold onto traditions. There are many religions around the world and they all hold strong traditions for their believers. Many folks have customs around Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, or anniversaries of important family events. It doesn’t matter what the tradition is whether it is based on sacred beliefs or camping, grilling, fireworks, swim parties, or family reunions. The important thing is that it’s something predictable with people we love.
For example, we have coconut cake on Mom’s birthday and Dove Promises chocolates on Dad’s birthday to celebrate what they meant to us in life and what they still mean to us even though they are not here anymore. My birthday is 5 days before Christmas. When I was a child, my birthday traditions were my favorite dinner and cake and we decorated the Christmas tree on my birthday. Mom always made me feel so special. She had friends over to help decorate and my gifts were never wrapped in Christmas paper and didn’t get mixed in with such a big holiday. Now we decorate the tree much earlier. Sometime during my birthday week, we drive around looking at holiday lights, and we still have my favorite cake.
My family’s traditions have changed over the years. I am sure many of yours have too. Change can be hard, but making new traditions helps us fill the void of what we’ve let go. Maybe the loss of someone dear is too painful to follow the regular tradition. Mom was our Queen of Christmas until she passed. The next Christmas was tough. My sister had been hosting for a while and she decided to include some new things to help us get through that first Christmas without her. We kept some of our old traditions and she added some new ones. We missed Mom so much, but that Christmas helped us bridge into holidays without her and move into some new traditions.
When marriages happen, there are usually new traditions to fold in. Hopefully there is compromise and acceptance to new thoughts and ideas. Blending families is like braiding bread dough. The braid can be complicated and a bit of a chore, but when it is finished, it is beautiful, satisfying, and worth the effort. Traditions morph and change as family needs change. Letting go of what was can be a challenge, but blending old and new can make precious new memories.
Family rituals can have so much importance to the heart that they feel like traditions. When my sister and I were separated for a few years, we wrote letters back and forth. (Yes, it was the dark ages of no internet, email, cell phones, etc.) Because we were so close and it seemed like we were the only ones to acknowledge each other’s sneezes, every letter contained “God Bless you for however many times you sneezed.” That phrase still pops up occasionally.
Family rituals can be as simple as a regular bedtime, or cleaning the kitchen after every meal, to something that speaks to the heart and is missed if it doesn’t happen. When our daughter went off to college, our goodnight saying was still there when we were together. It is an important routine that we still enjoy.
Respecting those things that are dear to you also honors your relationships with others. And relationships need glue to help them stay strong, connected, and cherished. What may seem silly, ridiculous, or over the top to others may be a precious drop of glue that helps bind your family together.
What are your traditions or routines that are dear to your heart? Please feel free to log in and comment below.
Cheers!
Mae
